Those were the days..

May 22, 2008 at 10:05 pm | In Family, Life, Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal, a-ha | 21 Comments
  • I miss the visits to my grandma’s, Allah Yir7amha, house in Mansouriya. We used to go there, and then to my aunt’s house in the back. I remember playing inside the van ‘Waneet’ which was always parked outside, though I never knew to whom it belonged. 
  • I miss playing in 7adiqat el Mansouriya.
  • I miss seeing my grandma at breakfast each morning when I was in Kuwait. She can’t do it anymore but I keep remembering that.
  • I miss uncle ‘Y’ Allah yir7ama when he used to come to my mother-in-law’s house (his sister) each night for dinner. He used to eat khoboz o jibin or soup or kebab. He was the most humble modest man I know.
  • I miss my best ‘relative’ friend. I remember the days when we used to stay long hours, in her room, just reading magazines and cutting what we want. Or, translating and looking up every word in the dictionary we didn’t know from an A-HA song. Though we are not together any more, I truly wish her well and all the best.
  • I miss aunt ‘M’ Allah yir7amha. I don’t really know what exactly to mention about her because there was and will never be anyone like her.
  • I miss the days when we used to record tamthiliyyat (Tv shows) with my brothers. The Monopoly games and the so7oor in Ramdan.
  • I miss the gatherings on Wednesdays. Used to be my favourite day of the week.
  • I miss uncle ‘M’ Allah yir7ma. I miss his visits to my house in Switzerland. He stayed with me two times and during that time, I got to know the real him, which not many know unless you live with him. 
  • I miss her, although I haven’t seen her for a long time, and now she’s gone. 
  • I just miss everything and hate the changes but all I can say is Al Hamdilla 3ala kil 7al.
  • There are so many other things but I can’t write anymore. My heart is aching and I so need a hug :( .
P.S: I am really sorry to all my relatives who are reading this. I know they relate to a lot of the things I said so I am really sorry if I made you feel bad but I felt I had to let it out somewhere.

Jem: Truly Outrageous!

April 13, 2008 at 4:18 pm | In Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal | 10 Comments

I was a HUGE fan loool..

It’s a late 80s cartoon about two sisters, Kimber and Jerrica. When their father dies, they find Synergy, a holographic computer created by their father. That computer creates JEM, Jericcas’s other self as a band’s lead singer. Their name was  ”The Holograms”. There’s also the bad girls band “The Misfits” who are always competing with them.

I leave you with some photos:

 

Jericca as herself & as Jem!

The bad girls: The Misfits

 

Jerrica :( and Jem!

On Being a Mum

March 9, 2008 at 10:43 am | In Family, Kuwait, Life, Love, Relations & Stuff, Marriage, Me Myself & I, Memories, My Kids, Personal | 17 Comments

I thought I’d write this so that people understand what I meant by my last post. Beware, it is quite long!

As you all know, I live abroad. In the early years, I had to stay in Kuwait to complete my studies as I was in the first year of college.  My husband’s family took care of my son while I was attending my lectures and stuff. 

When I officially graduated, I couldn’t believe it. It was like a dream! It was like this day is never coming, you know. That sense of achievement & happiness I felt that day was a feeling I never forgot. I could  finally live like a proper family, you know.

baby-feet-feet.jpg

Then came my little son, bless him (that’s his feet in the hospital BTW). I had him in 2005. He was our little miracle. We never thought we would have a second child and he was a surprise. Home management became more difficult but I enjoyed every bit of it it. I didn’t like to complain.

Before I had him, I used to take coures and stuff when my big son was in school. But this time, I stopped and dedicated my time for him.  When he got his diabetes at one years old, the world crumbled and those three weeks at the hospital were an unforgettable experience. He started going to the nursery recently. It makes him interact with kids and have lots of fun. They have been very helpful and learned everything regarding his condition. 

Look, I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, I am perfectly fine as I am. I am happy. There are some advantages in raising your kid on your own, away from everybody. But, what I am trying to say is you do need help sometimes. All the mums who have family around them are lucky. The have mums, sisters, in-laws to help them for at least a couple of hours while say, you sleep, study, shop..  etc anything! 

Although I have to mention that my husband does help when he can, like if I want to cook for an invitation or if I have to go to a doctor. I really appreciate that. He’s a great dad and loves being with his kids.

It’s annoying when some people think I am fathya, and that I don’t have anything to do. They laugh when I say I can’t go here or there, Like ” Shino 3ndich? You don’t have anything to do” . Just because I am not working doesn’t mean I have a lot of free time!

BTW, there’s a big difference between having one kid and more. Having two or more is demanding, each child has his own needs.  

I don’t mean leaving your kids to the maids.

I don’t mean going out everyday with friends and not spending time with your kids.

I mean, just a couple of hours, if not minutes on your own, perhaps just reading a book! 

Having said that, I believe you should try to spend as much time as possible with the kids when they are small. Time flies quickly and you might regret that later!

Ugly Betty

February 21, 2008 at 11:02 am | In Hollywood Films & Celebs, Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal, Thoughts | 16 Comments

 

Good morning all!

I was flipping through some old pictures of me in my early teenage years. I don’t have many pictures of myself in general (will post about that soon) but man do I look hideous looool!

Looking at those scary pictures, I remembered when we look at celebrity pictures and say things like “Look how she was and how she is now!”. Then we would jump into a conclusion that they must have had plastic surgery/make-over etc. Well, I know some do but it’s not fair to say all of them did! I mean, look back at your pictures. You would certainly find funny/weird pictures. Then why are we sooo sure that people who looked different back then must have done something because they look better now?

Well, things change, style changes and the world changes as we grow. We look different each year.

I think we should give others a break, don’t you think? I don’t know why some of us find joy in finding ugly pictures of others while we hide ours lol!

I am Calm.. So What?

February 16, 2008 at 11:56 am | In Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal, Self-esteem | 21 Comments

I am a calm person and that seems to bug some people. I am feeling fine now, it’s just a topic I thought about writing about. It’s going to be long, so be warned!

All my life, people seem to find me annoying because I am calm. “Yal barda” they would say. Early in my childhood, it didn’t annoy me. I would just smile at them which made them get more annoyed. I guess, I was just a child. When you are a kid, you just don’t pay attention. Not everyone of course, but me, I was taught by my mum to just forgive and forget. Kids would insult me and I would just look at them not knowing what to say.

As I grew into my teenage years, things changed. I changed. It started to matter. It got to me. I started to become more sensitive. When kids and adults said something to me, I wouldn’t say anything but when I was alone, I would start crying. I felt suffocated because I cannot defend myself. I couldn’t say anything. If I tried, I would be shaking all over, not to mention them laughing at me as they see me struggle with my words. “Yalli ma 3indich i7saaas waay ishloon chithi ya bakhtich” ( how lucky are you to be like this, no feelings expressed), they would say in an ironic tone. Inside I would start boiling, but you don’t see it on my face.

  

One incident I will never forget. It might sound silly and insignificant but it’s one day I can’t forget. I remember vividly it was in Hussainiyya. It was the Ashoora morning and we (family members) were sleeping there (We stay there overnight Ashoora night to help cut the onions for the Ashoora lunch). Anyways, I was 17 at the time and we were eating breakfast when someone said: “Shaimaa?”. I looked up saying “What?”. Then, she turned her head away from me and looked at who she’s been talking to “See what I mean? Hal booorood? eyeeeb a3saaab!” (This calmness gets on my nerves) . I was like what just happened? why? What did I do? I wasn’t even in a conversation?! So, I just left the room, went out into the front yard alone and started crying. I just couldn’t stop. I don’t know how I stopped but I did becasuse it was time to go home.

When I went home, I started crying all over again once I was in my room. I didn’t say anything to mum. My door was shut. But then she cam in the lunch time and asked me if I wanted to go I said no. She asked me what was wrong and for the first time in my life I tell her. I never complained or anything. I always kept things to myself.  Then she tried to calm me down and said “Yalla it’s ok, she doesn’t mean anything, just forget it it’s nothing and your family loves you” and all that stuff.  

I love my mum so much. She is so peaceful that she always thought it’s best to keep away and be safe by just ignoring what people say. I am sure she had her share of painful verbal insults because she is very calm and peaceful. It appears good but it’s not always good, especially in this time, and more specifically our society, you know. I can feel she has so much in her heart but she keeps it to herself. It does hurt when it goes on for so long. I guess I am very much like her now.

My personality, something I don’t like very much. I am always afraid to talk, to express my feelings, and to fight back. It just doesn’t work now anymore. 

It could be why I let my heart out here, my feelings, my anger, my pain. It makes me feel better to write it down. I used to have many diaries from 10 to 18 years old but I got rid of them in the end. Too many private stuff was in there.

Nowadays, I get that “entay 3indich e7sas entay?!” (Do you have any feelings??) now and then or ” ya bakhtich 3ala hal borood” ( how lucky are you for being this calm). Sometimes I tell them things like “do you think it’s better to be really bad tempered? You can get diabetes and high blood pressure and stuff” That makes them boil even more lol love the look on their faces! Other times, I just say ” You just don’t know what’s inside”.

In a nutshell, the insensitive people who have no feelings and are frozen from the inside are those who don’t pay attention to what they are saying to me. They don’t “measure” their words. That’s insensitivity. That’s no  feelings. That’s borood. 

Parents: A question

January 30, 2008 at 1:02 pm | In Family, Life, Love, Relations & Stuff, Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal, Pissed Off! | 29 Comments

 

There’s a question that people ask me sometimes. A question that many parents get asked actually. I hate that question! That question sucks big time. It bugs me.

See, I simply hate hate it when people ask me which one of your kids is more dear to your heart. Or which kid do you love more, or is special, something like that.

I know some parents do. Some may love a kid more if they look like them lol that is funny but I have seen that in some famillies. While others prefer a child if he/she is more attached to the parent. It really saddens me when the kid knows his parents prefer the other one. Really sad. 

Well, Sorry for being honest but I can’t let that happen to my kids. Both my boys are MY kids. I carried them for nine monthes. I raised them. The first boy was born in 1996, that makes him eleven years old. The second boy was born in 2005, which makes him two years and a half. 

The first boy is my first boy. He’s been my only kid for say nine years. I love him to bits! I feel he’s like a brother sometimes because I had him when I was so young. How can my second boy take his place? After nine years, my feelings can’t just evaporate you know. Yet the second boy came when we didn’t expect him, so I love him just as much.

The second boy was a surprise. I didn’t think I’ll have another child. He’s our little miracle actually. He’s a special kid to us. He’s diabetic and needs special care, yet it doesn’t mean he’s more special than my first boy.

Sorry but I can’t do that. I love them both equally.

Looking back, I have been raised with five brothers. Not one day did I ever hear mum or dad say they love or prefer one of us more than the other. I am an only girl yet still I was treated equally. I am no better than them. Why should I be? I don’t know what’s in my parents heart really. I can ‘t tell you whom they love the most because they never say or show it. Maybe they do but I honestly don’t know. And I am proud of them for being like that. I think this the reason I share a special bond with my brothers. We don’t feel threatened by one another.  This is why we are what we are today. 

P.S: Sorry Grey for the long post loool  

Remember Hamad?

January 30, 2008 at 10:48 am | In Education, Memories | 11 Comments

The older generation will remember him lol!

 

Childhood Memories: Summer Camps

December 15, 2007 at 1:31 am | In Me Myself & I, Memories, Personal | 12 Comments

Everybody is writing about their childhood for the last couple of days, a thing started by Chika. So I thought I’d write too.

Since I have so many childhood memories that I cherish, I think they deserve more than one post. So, occasionally, I will write about a certain time or thing. Today, I will start with the time I was in England. I used to go to a summer camp with my older brothers. It was called “Camp Beaumont”. 

 

  I remember the first year when I went, I refused to sleep in the girls’ dorms lol. I was 8 and I wanted my to remain with my big brothers. Since they couldn’t get me into the girls’ dorms, I was allowed to stay with my brothers for a few days. I don’t know how on earth I dared to walk in the boys’ dorms and into my brothers’ room. After a week, I went to the girls rooms hehehe. I guess I felt ashamed or something! Now I can’t believe I did that!

While in the school, I used to have a teacher who went with me everywhere. Her name was Debbie. She used to take me around for the activities and always at the end of the day, she took me to the motorcycle field. Once, she took me there and I asked for a ride. The instructor asked me if I have done it before ” Yeah suuuuuuure I did”, I said. Soooo not lol! I went on the thing, full speed and booooom, I bumped into the straw things they put all around the area in case anyone gets hurt or something. Then, after a few moments, I opened my eyes, looking up, I saw the instructor looking at me as i was laying on the ground ” So, you have ridden before HuuuuuuuH!”. He was so angry and I was like “errrrrrmmmmm”. It was really fun! Bas ashwa he forgave me and slowly he taught me. I wonder if I can still ride. Fast Lane: lend me your Speedo lol! But if I smash and break it, don’t blame me!

By the way, I found out the secret to why she took me there everyday, I caught her kissing the instructor one day! I wonder if they are still together lol.

  I loved judo, karate, soccer, shooting, motor-cycling, go-kart and archery. 

 

  I used to sneak out from the English lessons. I hated them. They used to give them only to the foreigners. My dad made sure we were taking them. Little did he know that I was always sneaking out and soon the teachers were all around the school looking for me. My favourite hiding place was the billiard table!

When we told people where we came from (Kuwait), they were clueless. Now when I think of it, it’s kinda ironic isn’t it?

It pissed me off that the older kids, over 14s got to stay longer in the evening to watch Tv. I used to sneak out and the teachers were  all over the place looking for me to get me back into bed. I remember the World Cup match, what year was it? I think it was 1986. It was Argentina versus England. England lost and everyone was crying in the school! Man I hate Argentina!

 

I used to have a Japanese friend. She didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Japanese. Don’t ask how we comunicated because I don’t know. Maybe it was some kind of sign language. I have a picture bas I can’t find it 7asafa.

  Once, they said there’s a disco for the teenagers. I think I was about 10 years old. I don’t know why but I really wanted to go. I remember I wore a pink, really pink dress and pink earrings. I went down with such confidence and pride. When the teacher saw me, he was like “Hey hey Shaima what do you think you are doing?” I felt very bad, fashalni! I mean, all this effort to look nice and kil hal kash’7a for nothing! And no, I don’t have a picture thank God!

 

  There was this one girl I used to hate. She always wore a big tee-shirt with shorts who thought she was the camp queen. 

I wonder what happened to all the girls and boys in the school with me. They are grown men and women with careers and all now but I still see them as kids in my head and can’t imagine them as grown-ups.

Such a lovely time. It was a real, healthy childhood. An innocent childhood with some naughty stuff I agree but still, it’s how childhood should be. Too bad it’s missing these days because kids are too lazy to move, just playing games and watching Tv.

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